it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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