Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
