have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
