Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
