accomplished twins. life is a go
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
