If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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