All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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