there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dick very happy bro
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
