do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
