could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
