he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
