Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
