hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
