Cold hands, warm shart.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We got so high we made milksteak
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
