I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
