ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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