is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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