Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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