i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
