We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
