You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
