Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
