Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
