Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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