I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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