I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
