No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
