she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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