DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
