Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
