Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
