Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
