So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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