How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
