I'm gonna have a badass scar
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
