I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize