oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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