I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
