so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
