just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
