can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
