nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
