I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
