Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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