I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
