I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
