stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
