i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
