I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize