keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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