belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
