im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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