Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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