yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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