She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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