You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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