umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
