I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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