Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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