I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize