Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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