I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
