We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize